ryuwrighthistory | Empatheias IC inbox

[ When he feels Naruhodou's hand on his chin, the neutral mask he'd put up falls away in an instant, leaving him vulnerable. Asougi stays quiet; a moment or two will pass, he'll get his walls back up, they'll laugh and move on. Except that moment passes and his walls are still crumbled at Naruhodou's feet. He swallows hard, searching for the words he'd wanted to say. Wasn't this why all those letters had ended up crumpled and discarded in the bin, only to be dragged out into the open again, rough edges smoothed out by his best friend.

It was just like him, to end up tongue tied now of all moments. ]

Everything in there is true.

[ At that, he gestures over at the papers that Naruhodou had set down. Half-written sentiments, declarations he'd drawn a line through several times over — none of it had seemed quite right. Even waving a hand towards it seemed wrong. He lowers his hand slowly. ]

[He watches him for a long while before lowering his gaze, hand falling to his side. Everything around him suddenly felt distant, a numbing sensation as if time had just stopped. He clutches his chest, trying to remember to breath. Everything in there is true. Those words resonate in his mind, his heart, the part of it that had kept those feelings he had towards his best friend shut away. Because how could he ever allow it? He shakes his head, looking back up at him with a sort of desperation in his eyes.]

I want you to tell me! [Those papers were half written and incomplete. He couldn't accept just them as they are. He wanted to be absolutely sure, to leave no room for doubt.]

[ He can only match that desperation in Naruhodou's eyes with a desperation of his own, clenching a fist as he snaps back abruptly— ]

I care about you—!

[ He chews at his lip in frustration, the air suddenly feeling a bit heavier at that as the humidity sets in. ]

. . .[He let those words hang for a moment and then looks away. His mind and heart were confused. It didn't know what to make of those words. He should be happy to hear that right? Why did it feel like it missed the mark? He rubs the back of his neck.]

I. . .do too, but I think you already knew that.

[ His heart sinks when Naruhodou looks away. That wasn't it, that wasn't what he wanted, and he couldn't just let things stand like this, no matter how hard it all came to him. He sits down on the edge of his bed, clasping his hands together in his lap. ]

. . . I'm in love with you.

[ It's a simple, quiet statement, standing in stark contrast with his heated outburst only moments ago. ]

-!! [There was a sudden gust of wind, scattering all the papers that had been sitting on the desk. He quickly looks back over to Asougi, short of breath, like something was caught in his throat. He said it. He actually said it. All these feelings he had shut out, they suddenly burst out from their imprisonment like a tidal wave.] . . .I- [His voice wasn't there, like he had forgotten how to speak. His feet then start to move on their own and the next thing he knew, he was lunging at Asougi to embrace him.]

I love you too! [He declares with all his might, finally letting his heart scream out how it really felt. His feelings was finally being justified. A great wave of warmth was spreading throughout the room, the lights all started to flicker to life. There may as well be a tiny sun in their room.]

I didn't-I didn't think you would ever. . .I mean, we can't, we couldn't. . . [He was trembling, shaking his head. Suddenly he was uttering everything he had held in, coming out like a jumbled mess.] I didn't want to say anything, because...because. . . [He was afraid of being told he was wrong, his feelings being denied as mere fallacies. For awhile, he had accepted id as the truth, that these feelings were just there because he was really missing his best friend, to avoid getting hurt.]

[ He unclasps his hands as Naruhodou lunges at him, drawing his arms around him to support him, and to pull him in. There's a warmth radiating from him, slowly cutting through the humidity that had been hanging in the air. A half-smile crosses his face, and he lifts a hand to rest it at the back of Naruhodou's head. ]

Easy there, Naruhodou. Easy . . . [ Of course Naruhodou would have entirely too much to say when Asougi himself had been struggling with his words. ] . . . I know what you mean.

[Too late, he's already crying. And he tried so very hard not to fall apart on him, especially on such a happy occasion. At least it's not tears of sadness. He's just happy he doesn't have to keep lying to himself.]

I-I'm sorry, it's probably my fault I made you feel this way. [Annd yet he still finds a reason to blame himself anyway.]

Hey. Hey. Stop that.

[ He pulls one of his arms back around, pulling away just enough so he can reach up and wipe at Naruhodou's face with his sleeve. ] No one determines how I feel but me.

[He sniffles, hiccuping a few times, trying to calm himself down.] S-Sorry. . .[This is so embarrassing.]

Just think of how irritated I'll be if you make it rain in my room. [ He's just putting it into perspective here. ]

Ah- [WELL. That manages to reach him and bring him back to his senses. ]

R-Right. . . [He takes a deep breath, pressing a hand against his forehead.] I guess...Holmes' deduction was right all along. [He didn't know what else to say at the moment. The last couple of minutes felt like a blur of reality.]

Don't give him any credit.

[ It's mostly a murmured protest, though. ]

[He manages to laugh a little, even a little smile. He lowers the hand on his forehead.] We won't hear the end of it though, once he finds out. [He leans forward to rest his forehead against Asougi's.]

. . .um, thank you for the chocolates, by the way. [His blushes once more. That's still not quite what he wanted to say. Now that they're here, he's not entirely sure how to proceed from this point.]

[ This is entirely uncharted territory for him. There'd never been time before — or maybe that's what he told himself as he threw everything into pursuing justice for his father, to the detriment of most everything else in his life. Even now, it feels like a quiet betrayal to his mission. But it also feels warm and comforting, like he's finally home.

He huffs softly, glancing aside. ]

You're welcome. [ He leans in just a bit, closing his eyes. ]

[Even if they just stay like this, he's content with it. They have to hide their feelings toward each other anymore. Even more so, it pleases him to see his best friend so relaxed.]

So uh does....does this mean I can sleep with you every night? [He starts drawing shapes on his chest, looking rather sheepish. He really did like having the warmth of another person sleeping beside him. It was just...well, awkward to ask without a reason.]

[ That huff turns into a huffy laugh, and Asougi opens his eyes slowly, trying to meet his gaze. ]

Yes, Naruhodou. This means you can sleep with me every night.

[He practically beams at that, there are even sparkles all around his head. But just as quickly as they appeared, they suddenly drop like beads as his smile turns into a frown, realizing something.]

You're going to force me out of bed every morning, aren't you?

Not every morning . . .

[ But most, yes. He lifts a hand up to his head again, ruffling his hair lightly. ]

Just when you feel like being a jerk then?

[He won't swat his hand away this time. He actually leans forward slightly, as if inviting him to continue to the gesture.]

Wanting you to wake up at a reasonable hour doesn't make me a jerk, you know.

[ He keeps his hand up there then, resting it at the back of his head. ]

The break of dawn is not reasonable. [Despite the bantering, he turns his head to rest it against his chest. There's that heartbeat, ever reminding him that his friend is still here, that this is still the reality.]

. . .but I guess it's all right once in a while, to be up at the same time as my boyfriend. [He lets it slip, testing the waters with the word. It felt foreign to say it, like he shouldn't be saying it at all.]

[ There's that word again. He seems a bit surprised at hearing it, but that passes quickly enough. It's what he is, what they are. ]

. . . once in awhile, huh.

Well, I mean. . .I'm not saying I don't want to spend any time with you or the like. I'm just not exactly awake enough to be of much use that early.

Which is curious. It's not like you're staying up later than anyone else and yet, you're the reigning champion of sleeping in.

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